


Padme Says No

by Nny11



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anxiety Attacks, Everyone Gets A Hug, Fluff, Found Family, Gen, Happy Ending, Padmè knows best, Panic Attacks, Post TWJ, Whump and fluff, everyone has a good cry, or at least thinks she does, super fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-13
Updated: 2019-02-14
Packaged: 2019-07-11 16:52:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 16,325
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15976478
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nny11/pseuds/Nny11
Summary: When Padme Amidala learns that Ahsoka has left the Order and will be on her own, she puts her foot down to bring the wayward former Jedi home. Only time will tell if Padme's stubborn streak gets the results she planed on.





	1. Padme Says No

**Author's Note:**

> So prttybrdy on tumblr had this idea, which you can see   
> [here](https://prttybrdy.tumblr.com/post/175474055593/okay-so-i-got-this-idea)and it kinda grabbed me by the throat.

Padme’s ears were ringing, her breath felt particularly loud as she quickly processed what her husband had told her. Ahsoka had refused to rejoin the Order. She was gone. Padme took two slow breaths as she listened to Anakin’s quiet sniffling and made herself refocus.

“She’s gone Padme,” Anakin rasped. His voice popping over the coms.

Padme felt herself snap back into place, like coming out of hyperspace. “Gone where?”

“What?” Anakin hiccuped.

“Where has she gone?” She lightly traced the swirling patterns of her wood desk top. Surely they could at least get her new com number, meet with her when she was feeling prepared…any sort of contact would require her new contact information.

“I don’t know,” Anakin said bitterly, “once you’ve left the Order doesn’t care. There’s no severance or assistance of any kind! It’s not fair!”

She froze before a wave of fire rushed through her veins. “Nothing? Where do they expect her to sleep? What is she supposed to do now? Gods and little fishes, she is seventeen!”

His barking laughter sounded so rough and wrong from her sweet Ani. “I don’t know. I don’t know Padme, they don’t…I don’t know. She’s out there alone and I just, I just let her walk away.”

Coruscant was supposed to be the glittering jewel of the galaxy. The peak of civilization. An example for the galaxy to see what true cooperation could accomplish. In many ways it lived up to its ideals. In many ways it did not. Padme had been to the lower levels plenty of times. She had worked at soup kitchens to help feed the less fortunate denizens, and she had heard Teckla speak about her living conditions. Restricted electricity and cut offs for running water. She knew of the crime rates and heard Anakin talk about what he experienced in the line of duty. That’s what Ahsoka had. Coruscant was a planet that required money to survive and Ahsoka had none. She’d have to go down. Deep into the lower levels. Alone.

Unacceptable.

Padme quickly ran through scenarios in her mind. Ahsoka wouldn’t take a hand out, no matter how desperately needed. She would chafe if Padme demanded she come back. Ahsoka was a good kid but one who needed an outlet as well. A job was logical, so what job could she offer? The Senate provided all of Padme’s mechanical needs, and she had pilots as well. Padme couldn’t picture Ahsoka wanting to serve as a Senatorial Aide. Protection? Captain Typho was often complaining just as bitterly about the lack of security forces available and their incompetence when provided. Padme was a well known target, and Ahsoka had provided protective services in the past. A body guard. It would utilize her skills, get her a job that was not a scam, and wouldn’t blow up in her face.

She was pulled from her thoughts as Anakin spoke, cold and hard, “Padme, I have to go. Obi-Wan’s calling.”

“Of course,” Padme nodded as she quickly accessed her security files, “we’ll talk tonight love.”

She didn’t quite catch Anakin’s response as the system pinged Ahsoka’s communicator. Oh good. She still had her old unit then, and the number wasn’t deactivated yet. It took no time for her to call. One ring, two rings, three. When it did pick up, there was silence on the other end.

“Ahsoka, are you there? I was hoping to talk to you.” It took more willpower than she was comfortable with to not just ask where she was.

Ahsoka practically whispered, “Hey Padme.”

The sheer relief to hear her voice almost made her laugh. Of course nothing terrible was going to happen to Ahsoka this soon after leaving the Temple. It was silly to have assumed otherwise. It was still such a relief considering the last week. “Anakin told me-would you be alright with coming to my office?”

“…sure.” Ahsoka sighed, heavy and tired.

“I can send a speeder-”

“No. I’ll walk. See you shortly.”

The line cut and Padme took a single deep breath to center herself before comming one more person.

“Captain, can you please step into my office? I would like to discuss my security detail with you.”

“Yes Senator I will be there in five.”

“Thank you.”

It was a start, and that was always the best first step.


	2. Should've Taken the Speeder

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ahsoka makes her way to Padme's office as promised and things don't go exactly as she'd planned.

Ahsoka stared up at the Senate dome and swallowed roughly. She really should have taken that speeder. The walk here had been filled with enough stares to make her want to crawl into a hole for a few years. It made sense, her acquittal had just been that morning. Until three hours ago she had been near the top of the Republic’s most notorious criminals. It made her skin crawl. The civilians had already been bad, but it was suddenly worse at the Senate. The blue guards, who had recently been little more than part of the scenery to her, now seemed imposing. What if they wouldn’t let her through? What if they hadn’t been told she was innocent for some reason? Her heart kicked painfully at the thought of being arrested again.

Ahsoka patted awkwardly at her hips, searching for the comfort of her crystals. Their missing weight somehow heavier than her lightsabers had ever been.

“Right,” she huffed, glancing around nervously.

She could still leave, ditch her com somewhere to escape it all. Her ident chip was still in processing as removing a criminal block was simple compared to removing all her rights and privileges as a Jedi Commander. Otherwise she would have already changed her com number. That was free. She didn’t know how much a replacement unit would cost if she did abandon this one. And Padme was likely already tracing her location at this point. That thought brought a small smile to her lips. That was just the way Padme worked. It was the way Ahsoka used to work too. She borrowed a bit of false confidence from the idea and walked up the steps.

The guards didn’t even twitch as she passed them.

She quickly turned down the south corridor towards the lifts and tapped the number for Padme’s floor. As the doors hissed shut she sagged against the wall for support.

“What am I doing?” she asked her warped reflection in the brass paneling.

She didn’t want to be here. She really, really didn’t want to be here at all.

The ride was spent nervously staring at her misshapen face and debating if she should just turn around and leave. But she was already this close, and if anyone deserved an answer for Ahsoka’s actions it was Padme Amidala. Padme who put her career and good standing on the line to defend her in a high profile case. Ahsoka would explain why she left, she would thank her, and then she would finally leave. Leave to…

She’d just have to figure it out after that. Rex’s serious face floated across her mind’s eye. “You can only do what you can do Commander.”

Right.

The carpet squished under her boots and Ahsoka clasped her hands behind her back, focusing her gaze to the end of the hallway where golden light poured in. It took everything left in her to appear calm and collected as nearly every face turned to follow her. Her hands were shaking and sweaty and her stomach had gone up in knots. She should have taken the kriffing speeder.

Ahsoka gratefully slipped into the front office and somehow made it to the reception desk despite her rattling bones.

The droid whirred softly as it’s head turned towards her. “Please go up Lady Tano, Senator Amidala is expecting you.”

It was like a sucker punch. Lady Tano instead of Padawan Tano. She managed to get into the last lift and make it to the Senatorial floor without freaking out, and then quickly shoved all of it down. She could panic later, she needed to compartmentalize and deal with this now. Do what she can do.

The door automatically opened to her ident, and it soothed her a bit to know Padme still trusted her.

Padme’s head snapped up and the relief and joy coming off her was palpable in the Force. Ahsoka stiffly walked inside and glanced over her shoulder as the door shut. In the split second she was distracted Padme bustled around her desk and swept her up into a tight hug. Ahsoka’s breathing hitched, shuddering as she returned it.

Padme gently kissed her cheek as she pulled back, hands framing her face. There were tears in her warm brown eyes.

“I’m ok,” Ahsoka said, trying desperately to get rid of the warble in her voice as she started to cry. “I’m ok.”

She shuffled to the low couch at Padme’s gentle insistence and quickly found herself cradled in Padme’s arms. It was both embarrassing and comforting to just let it all go. To have someone just silently be there. It was a torrent, a rush and when finished her head throbbed.

“Sorry, this wasn’t exactly what I planned on.” Ahsoka chuckled weakly as she pulled back and leaned deep into the soft cushions pretending that she hadn’t just been getting tears and snot all over a Republic Senator. Padme’s couches were made of some wonderfully soft material that felt like silk on her back. Much nicer to concentrate on that.

“There is nothing to apologize for, you’re my friend Ahsoka. Thank you for trusting me with this.” Padme smiled at her so warmly and earnestly that Ahsoka could feel the sting of tears in her eyes again.

“Of course,” she mumbled as she swiped at her eyes. “Ok, no more crying for a while. I think. You, uh, you wanted to talk to me?”

“Yes,” Padme’s face didn’t shift, it was still open and warm as ever but her eyes glittered in that way Ahsoka had long ago realized meant trouble. “I, well I wanted to ask if you know what you’re going to do and more importantly where you’re going to stay now.”

It was hard to breath for a moment as the galaxy open up under her feet, like a gaping maw ready to swallow her whole. The truth stuck in her chest, her jaw clenching for a moment before she managed to force the word out of her throat. “No.”

“I’d like to make you an offer then,” Padme held out a datapad and Ahsoka stared at it a little confused.

“An…” she took the pad and looked at the first document. It was a letter of some kind, an offer letter? “On behalf of the Republic Senate and Planetary Government of Naboo, we are please to extend to you an offer of full time employment with-wait. This offer of-is contingent upon-?”

Ahsoka quickly scrolled down and found the position title she was looking for. Security Personnel: Senatorial Bodyguard.

“I was thinking,” Padme said, clearly having thought this whole conversation out, “Captain Typho has told me that the Republic can not spare any additional security forces for senators requesting them, but I am a high profile target. As you well know from your previous experience as my personal security guard. I had requested permission from the Queen to procure additional funds to hire a full time guard for the next two to three years and was approved. So far, we haven’t interviewed anyone who we were all comfortable with.”

Ahsoka numbly noted that she would have a near six figure salary attached to her contract. In one year, if she didn’t spend any of her money, Ahsoka could buy a half decent personal ship. She could afford at least three full kits of phase two armor. That was almost enough for a half year’s worth of K rations.

“I had tabled the idea as more pressing matters arose that needed attention, and I knew that I could always request Jedi protection and that you or Master Skywalker could help me.” Padme said, softly putting her hands on Ahsoka’s shaking ones. “When Anakin said you wouldn’t have any assistance from the Order after you left…Ahsoka, I think we could both help one another. I could use someone with your skills, experience, and trustworthiness to help ensure my safety. I think you could use this opportunity to get your feet back under you and get some official work experience. It is only a temporary position, but I think you could make it work well.”

Ahsoka stared unseeing at the offer letter, shaking her aching head slightly. “I want to get away from…everything. From everyone! They…I don’t…”

“You don’t have to decide right now,” Padme’s smile was kind and sad. “I know it’s a bit much, but I wanted you to know.”

“Oh. Well, thanks.”

“Can you do me a favor? If you don’t have somewhere to stay tonight, will you stay at my apartment? We can talk again after some sleep and a solid meal.”

Ahsoka’s stomach twisted further. She hadn’t eaten in a full day at least but food just sounded terrible. She didn’t want to stay. She didn’t want to go. How was she supposed to stay?

Trustworthy, that’s what Padme had called her. Ahsoka looked deeper in the Force for guidance. It felt warm and content, and a wave of gentle exhaustion rolled over her. It is safe little one. Trust in the Force.

“…alright, just tonight though.”

Padme squeezed her hands, “Just tonight then.”


	3. Driving a Speeder While Having an Emotional Breakdown: And Other Things Anakin Deals With

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anakin has a very bad no good day, drives dangerously, and then does the "proper" thing and stuffs it all down to snark at Ahsoka.
> 
> Basically another average day.

Anakin’s face was on fire. It burned with anger and shame while the cool night air whipped around him as he flew around Coruscant’s evening traffic. The tears, the tears were just from the stinging wind! Just the wind, he reminded himself forcing the durasteel wall back down in his mind. He couldn’t think about it anymore. He just couldn’t. Obi-Wan’s face floated across his mind, both sad and hard as he’d rested a hand on Anakin’s shoulder to remind him ‘mind his feelings’.

Anakin screamed, leaning low and aggressive over the handlebars of the speeder as he howled into the night. For a split second he felt lighter, better. It all crashed back down again as he looked up at 500 Republica, and behind it saw the Senate Dome.

Anakin had never hated the Chancellor before, but this had nearly done it. But…but the Chancellor had been **lied**  to and Tarkin had been tricked. They’d all been tricked by that traitor. He burned at the thought. He should have listened to Ahsoka. He should have gone with her. Anakin couldn’t stop wondering what would have happened if he’d just listened to her. He couldn’t stop wondering what would have happened if he hadn’t caught Offee. If he'd just-if he had-

It didn’t matter, he reminded himself, Ahsoka was still gone. He couldn’t save her. He forced the wall down.

The orange glow of the planet smeared and streaked past him, and Anakin startled as the speeder landed with a soft thump. He gasped for air, panting and shaking for a moment before swinging his leg over the seat to dismount. Padme would fix this, she would stop all of this pain. She always did. Despite being on the landing pad of his own home, Anakin felt like he was light years away. Like he hadn’t seen her in years. He roughly palmed the door open and all but stumbled into the living room.

“Angel?” He called out hoarsely, rooted to the spot and shaking apart. He begged silently for her to be home, to be here. Please, please, please-

“Anakin!”

Padme slipped around the corner, her nightgown fluttering around her, billowing up behind her like wings. He pulled her into a desperate hug, holding onto her so he could finally be grounded. He finally let go, safe enough to let it all go. Sobbing harshly the way he’d wanted to for hours. He jerked his mechanical hand up to pull at his hair, terrified to bruise his wife as he lost control.

She didn’t let go, didn't try to get away from him. She loved him so she leaned into him. Padme ran her hand soothingly up and down his back as she spoke. He couldn’t understand the words as he released his pent up emotions, but the sound of her voice was soft like rain. Gentle and soothing and real.

As soon as he had an inch of breathing room the rage rolled back in. Obi-Wan  **failed**  him, failed them both! And Anakin, he failed her. And Ahsoka just-she just left like he was nothing! That anger burns hot and fast, tasting like acid at the back of his throat as it sputters out. He feels like nothing. The Order was wrong.

“Ani, please, breath with me.” Padme whispered in his ear, her breath tickled the small hairs curling around it.

He tried. He tried so hard to calm down. To listen to her and to let it all go, but that’s what Jedi do. They release their emotions so they don’t have to face them, letting the consequences drop from their shoulders. The Jedi drove his apprentice away and Anakin refuses to shy from it. Instead he buries it down with the rest, down where it will burn him slowly. The way he deserves.

“Anakin?”

It was like an electric shock. Anakin’s head snapped up, full of hope and fear to see her leaning against the wall as if she could fall at any moment.

“Ahsoka!” His heart pounded and his stomach dropped, and for one moment Anakin doesn’t know if he’s furious that she’d dare come here after refusing him or if he is ecstatic that she didn’t really leave. Like he always had with her, like he swears to himself he always will, Anakin shoved that dark piece of him down. Down and away where it can never hurt her, down where all the other hurts are locked. He will be grateful for this gift, he is grateful, he missed her.

Ahsoka hesitated for a moment longer before sprinting to him, leaping at the last second to wrap her arms around his neck. Anakin holds her tight as she clings to him.  _She’s here. She’s **here**_.

Ahsoka gave a watery laugh, hiccuping slightly, “I missed you.”

It’s only been ten hours since she left the Order, but Anakin felt like each hour was a year crushing him down to his knees. His wife and his apprentice were here, his family, and Anakin finally smiled.

“I’d miss me too Snips.” He grunted as she punched him in the side, and pulled back to hold her shoulders. To make eye contact. “I’m, I’m so glad you’re here.”

She scrubbed lightly at her cheeks but was still smiling when she looked at him. “I figured you’d be lost without me at least nearby.”

It hit like a saber to his heart, she wasn’t rejoining the Order. It soothed like the soft shade of an ancient tree, she was staying anyways.

He tried to put on a good show, grumbling, “I thought R2 was my minder!”

Ahsoka snorted gently tugging out from under his hands as her arms wrapped around her middle. “Only when we need something on fire.”

Padme laughed and Anakin jumped. This, he’s pretty sure, is the first time in his life Anakin had forgotten she was in the same room as him. The same room that Ahsoka just caught him sobbing on her in. At 23:00. When he’s supposed to be at the Temple. He fidgeted even as he remembered the way Ahsoka told him she knew. It’s strange that someone knows about them and it makes him feel dizzy. Or maybe that’s the emotional whiplash. Or maybe the lack of food. Did he eat anything today?

“No fires tonight please, I think we’re all exhausted and could use some sleep.” Padme said as she touched the small of his back, the slightest pressure more than enough for him to start moving towards the bedroom. “We can all have a nice leisurely breakfast in the morning.”

He twisted around, feeling like a small child as he desperately looked to watch Ahsoka moving with them. She gives a small, hopeful wave before ducking into one of the spare bedrooms.

“You’re amazing,” he whispered turning to look at Padme with every ounce of adoration shining in his eyes. “I love you.”

Padme smirked up at him. “I know.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love Anakin desperately, but the man needs a therapist and to stop thinking the Jedi way is to emotionally detach and then stuff the emotions down. Stop it. Get some help.


	4. The Most Awkward Breakfast

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone has breakfast the next morning, and the tiniest of first steps is made.

It was no surprise to Padme when she found Anakin already bustling around the kitchen the next morning. Despite having woken up before him, a small miracle in itself thanks to his insomnia, Padme had actually taken the time to get presentable. Anakin, meanwhile, stood in only his pajama pants with his hair still mussed from sleep. She didn’t miss the panicked look in his eyes as he snapped around to see who was awake. Her heels clicked lightly on the tile as she walked over and pulled him in for a hug.

“No kiss?” He asked, apparently amused by something she’d done.

Padme shrugged noncommittally. “Did you brush your teeth?”

Anakin responded by obnoxiously exhaling a warm puff of lightly minty air in her face. Padme responded in kind by digging her chin into his unprotected chest. It was all so normal and domestic, but it was ruined knowing that his mind was still focused on the spare bedroom.

She gave him a quick kiss before pulling away to get a cup of kaf. “If she isn’t up let her sleep a bit longer. I wouldn’t blame her for sleeping until the afternoon honestly.”

He gave an aggravated sigh, but nodded as he went back to his pots and pans.

Padme winced as she took a sip and quickly added more cream. She would never understand why Anakin like his kaf dark enough to kill a man, or why she always forgot. “Can I help?”

“Toast?” He asked absentmindedly as he whisked something in a bowl. Padme risked a peek at the spices and was relieved to see nothing too hot in the mix. At his exasperated eyebrow lift she backed off.

A three on Anakin’s scale of spicy was closer to a nine for her, and after so many years of marriage she had finally wised up to that.

While she got to work Anakin poured the concoction out into a large pan and quickly fried the mix of eggs and vegetables. He was strangely silent as he worked, his normally fluid motions seemed harsh and jerking. She knew that he was upset; Padme pursed her lips as she tried to figure out with who or what. She loved him, dearly and desperately, but Anakin could take the smallest perceived slights and turn them into life long grudges. It could be anything from the situation, to the Jedi, to even Ahsoka herself. All of it at once most likely with a heaping side of guilt. Padme wrapped her arms around his middle gently kissing his spine before resting her head on his back.

“Why is she here?” Anakin whispered.

Padme frowned, considering how to explain it without getting his hopes up too high. “I offered her a position with my security staff, but she hasn’t made a decision yet so we will not pressure her into taking it.”

Anakin grumbled something unintelligible.

“I mean it Ani. I want her to have a viable option for employment, and I want her to be at a job she’ll find meaningful and interesting. It’s her choice to take it or not.”

He snarled softly, “She’d be foolish not to.”

Padme dropped her arms and swatted at his shoulders. “That doesn’t sound like not pressuring!”

“It’s not,” he said stiffly as he moved to plate their food, “I’m just stating a fact!”

“You were stating an opinion!” Padme hissed, forcing herself to not stomp as she grabbed the carafe and her mug.

Anakin put the plates down on the table with a small thump, “An opinion can also be the truth!”

Padme rolled her eyes at him, “Yes but that requires the opinion to actually be true in the first place.”

He scowled and stomped back in to the kitchen to grab the plate of toast and two more mugs, banging the cabinets as he did and slamming the silverware drawer closed.

Padme raised her voice just enough to be heard, “I get it, you’re upset and don’t like what I’m saying.”

“That’s not it!” Anakin huffed as he returned, mood somehow darker already. “Besides, we’re not arguing, we both agree that this would be best for her!”

“It would be good for her, but I never said best!”

“Are you saying this wouldn’t be a great thing?”

“No, gods and fishes Anakin, I just said-”

“I heard you and I’m just saying-”

“Yeah I think everyone’s heard you two at this rate.” Ahsoka said from the hallway, she was hunched over and had put on her clothes from the day before.

Padme quickly made eye contact with Anakin, who had blanched and was looking at her with wide begging eyes. “You’re right, I’m sorry we woke you like that Ahsoka. I was hoping you’d get some extra sleep.”

Her face was nearly blank, eyes flicking between them before she glanced at the door. Padme’s heart clenched at that. After a moment Ahsoka seemed to come to a decision, deflating slightly and shrugging as she took a seat. Padme winced and sat down, checking in again with Anakin who was studiously making his cup of kaf. Ahsoka hadn’t moved a hair since sitting and stared down at her plate like it might actually eat her. Padme started in on her food just to help the room normalize.

“You should eat something,” Anakin said, poking at his own plate with limited enthusiasm, “It’s not as good when it’s cold. Trust me, I’ve made that mistake.”

Padme glared at him and wished that at least for once he could actually read her mind. This was not the morning to use certain words or phrases that might imply something. Such as, say, ‘you are making a huge mistake’.

Ahsoka startled at his voice and flinched, but she still grabbed a fork and poked at her food. After a moment of aimless exploration she cautiously stabbed something and popped it in her mouth. It looked nearly painful as she chewed. Padme risked another look at Anakin only to find him staring at Ahsoka with watery eyes.

“Ok, let’s start over. Good morning Ahsoka, did you sleep alright?”  Padme slipped a hand under the table as she spoke with more confidence than she felt, letting it rest on Anakin thigh to reassure both of them.

Ahsoka shrugged and Anakin hunched over his plate as if the act of shoveling food into his face could solve their current problem. Great. Perfect.

“Well, I’ll be leaving for the-to work in the next hour or so. You’re welcome to stay here and get some more rest if you’d like it.” It was, by far, not Padme’s best save but it at least got a small snort and smile out of her guest.

“Thank you Padme, for everything. I really appreciate it.” Ahsoka grinned at her, twirling her fork around her thumb in probably the flashiest nervous tick Padme had ever seen. “I’m, well, I’ll think about it.”

The silence was a lot less awkward for the admission, but Padme did not miss the way Anakin seemed devoted to single handedly draining the carafe, or the way Ahsoka didn’t eat another bite.

“I can, uh,” Anakin hesitated as they turned to look at him, “I can make you something else if you want. Maybe something a little more plain?”

Ahsoka blinked slowly, head tilting in confusion before looking at her plate again and flushing. “No that’s, that’s alright. This is really good! I’m just…I’m not all that hungry.”

Padme could feel Anakin’s distress, even without the Force.

“Are you sure? It’s no problem really!” He said a bit rushed.

The fork twirling got a little faster. “Yeah, I’m fine.”

“Did you at least have dinner last night?” Anakin practically begged, his leg bouncing under Padme’s hand.

Ahsoka shrugged quickly, glaring at the table top. “Sure.”

“Ahsoka, you need to eat something-”

“I’m  **fine**  Master!”

They both froze, and Padme suddenly felt like an intruder. Clearly they both needed to talk, and she was just making it worse by shoving them together and hovering. Before she could figure out a way to excuse herself Ahsoka darted a hand out to quickly grab a piece of plain toast, dunked it in her black kaf, and jammed the whole sopping thing into her mouth with a very pointed look. It probably would’ve been more effective if her cheeks weren’t bulging out slightly, making her look a lot younger. Anakin chuckled before grabbing two pieces of toast and jamming them both into his mouth with a smug grin.

Ahsoka snickered, “Nice!”

Padme watched them both scramble for their kaf to prevent themselves from choking as they both started giggling like a pair of children. She wasn’t sure what strange ritual she’d just witnessed but apparently it was an apology of some kind as the tension in the air bled away. Anakin finally reached down and held her hand, and Ahsoka cautiously ate another few bites off her plate.

Ahsoka cleared her throat after a few minutes, “So I was reading through the offer letter and saw that food and lodging was listed as a benefit?”

Padme nodded slowly, keeping her voice light and her attention on her food. “Well, yes. As my personal bodyguard I would be requiring your service essentially at all times. You’d need to be able to respond to threats to my life in seconds and you can’t do that if you’re not here.”

Anakin and Ahsoka both perked up at that.

“I’m certainly not going to waste time paying you just to make you buy food when there’s plenty here. You’re welcome to put anything you’d like in particular on the list of course, but it just seems silly to not feed you when you’ll be living here.” Padme continued on nearly breezily, pausing to take another sip of kaf. She scrunched her nose and glared at Anakin who smirked at her. Someday she was going to teach him what kaf was supposed to taste like.

“Oh,” Ahsoka said, sounding a bit breathless and staring at her with wide eyes. “That makes sense.”

“I certainly thought so,” Padme smirked and squeezed Anakin’s hand back.

The rest of breakfast passed mostly in silence. Ahsoka was clearly trying to make some decision and Anakin looked this way of screaming. Padme couldn’t say if they were excited or nervous. Right about the moment she gave up on finishing drink, Anakin’s communicator went off. He glared at it, even as he answered.

“Anakin, where are you?” Obi-Wan’s voice came through crystal clear, communications from the Temple tended to with how close they physically were.

Anakin glanced up at Ahsoka but refused to leave his spot. “I’ve been out, trying to clear my head Master.”

“Normally, I would commend you and mark the occasion, but you are needed at the briefing. Without Ahsoka our whole strategy for Cato Neimoidia needs to shift.”

Padme jumped as Ahsoka stood up suddenly, her chair squeaking on the floor as she all but fled down the hallway. Anakin looked thunderous and glared at the small device as if it was actually Obi-Wan himself. She quickly mouthed, “I’ll check on her.”

It was better for them both if she didn’t hear anything more than she already had.

The door to the spare bedroom was still open from when Ahsoka left it this morning, and a quick glance revealed nothing but her pristinely made bed. The sound of retching drew her attention to the fresher and Padme winced. She quietly padded over to the door, hand hesitating to knock before she dropped it back to her side. Not wanting to startle the poor girl anymore, Padme asked softly, “Can I get you anything?”

She had nearly repeated the question to make sure she'd been heard when Anakin stormed past her to the bedroom. With a quick glance between the two she darted after him.

“How’s Ahsoka?” he asked, scowling as he dressed.

“Fine,” Padme lied, “What’s going on?”

“Nothing,” Anakin growled as he pulled on his tunics, “just the Jedi being their natural unfeeling selves. After all, she’s been gone for nearly a day, no reason to still be so emotional!”

He slammed the bureau drawer and Padme frowned. Her mother had bought her that. “Don’t you dare break my furniture because you are upset with the Jedi Order!”

“I’m not-” Anakin forced himself to stop, taking a deep breath and shaking his hands as he let it out, “I’m sorry. I just-how can they be so…never mind. I’m being ridiculous.”

“Anakin, you’re allowed to be upset about this.” Padme walked over to him, framing his face with her hands.

He looked at her so lovingly, even as his voice was bitter and fragile, “No, I’m not. I’m a Jedi, that’s not what we do.”

“You are a person first.” She whispered, going up on her tiptoes to kiss him.

Anakin quickly stooped down to kiss her, nearly feverishly before breaking off. “I love you. Take care of her while I’m…”

“I’ll do my best.”

And like she always had, Padme let him pull away from her embrace and watched her brave, compassionate husband leave.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anakin, with tears in his eyes: Please tell me you're at least eating!?  
> Ahsoka: *snarkily eats toast*


	5. The Low Point

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ahsoka's anxiety goes through the roof, and it's not exactly the best time to have someone whose opinion matters to you pressure you on a big decision.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I absolutely love the idea that any Jedi can just say, "And then they tried to Kenobi me!" and every other Jedi just nods sympathetically. You can Jinn your Padawan, but you can Kenobi anyone.
> 
> Anyways, just a wee bit of humor before the whump. :D

Ahsoka let herself flop ungracefully to one side of the toilet as her mind finally stopped running in gibbering circles. She was better than this. Right? She tried to remember the last time she’d thrown up from nerves, it had been sometime early in her apprenticeship. Post mission she was pretty sure. Ahsoka squinted at Padme’s fluffy array of crisply folded white towels and grimaced as she heard something bang.

That was bound to be Anakin then. In a weird way it was almost soothing to hear it, that he was so upset on her behalf and that he was still him. As if her leaving would change that. Despite her joking, Anakin had survived just fine without her before. He’d be fine without her again.

“It’s fine.” She whispered to her knees.

If it wasn’t true, it would be. Ahsoka nodded slightly to herself, trying to work up the conviction to see that through. Her stomach went up in knots as someone gently knocked on the door. Her breathing hitching and leaving her feeling stupidly young.

“Ahsoka, can I get you anything?” Padme spoke softly, considerate of Ahsoka’s sensitive hearing.

She smiled even as she wrapped an arm around her middle. As if trying to convince herself that she was okay. “No. Thank you. I’ll be right out!”

“Take your time, I’d rather you be alright than right out.”

Ahsoka listened to her soft footsteps until they disappeared down the hallway. And then let her head smack backwards into the wall.

“What am I doing?” She hissed, tracing invisible patterns on the speckled ceiling. What was she doing here? Last night she’d read over the offer until she’d literally dropped into an uneasy light sleep on top of the data pad. Last night she’d decided she would decline the offer. This morning she’d felt obligated to accept their hospitality. But…but, then she’d realized that she could still interact with Anakin and with Padme like this. That it was, well it was awkward, like shooting backwards in time three years, but it had felt right.

Half choking on a piece of toast and snickering at Skyguy’s antics, Ahsoka had decided to take the offer. It had been a spur of the moment decision, her whole existence seemed to pivot as she’d swallowed, decided how to tell them, and opened her mouth to accept.

Here she was, not five minutes later, throwing up because she was nervous that Master Obi-Wan didn’t care about her. It was first and foremost, gross and pathetic. It was also a good indicator that she shouldn’t take the offer. How would she protect Padme when she couldn’t even hear a Jedi’s voice without panicking. She couldn’t.

She just couldn’t.

It took a few more minutes of self pity before Ahsoka managed to get up, flush the waste, and wash her face. With a few more deep breaths Ahsoka finally left the safety of the fresher. Her mind unhelpfully racing through the explanations she’d come up with last night for why she’d turn down Padme’s offer. Some more true than others.

I need to get away.

I can’t be so close to them.

I don’t know if I’m the right person or the right fit.

I don’t know who I really am without them. I won’t know until I’m on my own.

How can I trust anything I learned, any of my instincts, when it’s what they taught me?

Please trust me, please believe me, please believe me, please, please, please-

Padme’s hand on her shoulder broke her back out of it. The Senator smiled softly at her and pressed a mug of mint tea into her hands. The heat and smell already settling her stomach. Ahsoka glanced at the table and saw that it had been cleared, a small plain bowl of oatmeal was left out.

“Thank you,” she mumbled, taking a small sip of the tea. She tried to keep from gagging at the idea of eating a single spoonful of the meal though, it kinda looked like vomit if she let herself think about it.

“Of course.” Padme nodded, sipping something from her own delicate tea cup. “I was thinking, this was a bit more stressful of a morning than we’d planned on. Perhaps we can revisit that job offer this evening.”

“No, that’s alright, I think I, that is-thank you. For the offer and for all your hospitality, but I can’t accept this.”

Padme looked at her the same way that Ahsoka knows that she used to look at battle plans. “May I ask why?”

On one hand, Ahsoka wanted to scream at being treated like a little kid. She’s not Padme’s responsibility and Padme is not her Master! But her behavior has already been both embarrassing and childish this morning. She knows that she shouldn’t feel so bitter about the idea that Padme deserves an answer after everything she did. Ahsoka can’t help but wonder how long that self imposed rule will last, and it’s really just one more reason not to stay. She doesn’t want to owe Padme forever.

Her argument, though, really boils down to a few words Ahsoka has so rarely had to say. It hurts. They stick, both others flow to take their place.

“I’m,” Ahsoka swallowed before refocusing on the table top, “I just think that between my…discomfort with the Order and feeling unsure of myself, that I would not be able to seriously focus on your protection. It’s better for your safety to not have me there, then to think you have a layer of security that you don’t actually have.”

That’s skirting the issues, and she knows it. It’s an Obi-Wan answer. She just Kenobied Senator Amidala and it makes Ahsoka flush with shame.

“If that’s what you feel is best, then I will accept your refusal.” Padme nods slightly, before her sharp eyes pierce through Ahsoka’s soul. “That’s not all of it though, is it?”

Force, Ahsoka isn’t sure how she convinced herself that Padme wouldn’t go right to the heart of the matter. Her throat aches as she says, “I can’t stay!”

“Because of the Jedi?”

“Because of everyone! Do you know how hard it was just to walk into the Senate yesterday? To come here last night? How difficult it was to see Ma-Anakin again? You? I was supposed to leave, but I didn’t!” Ahsoka waves her hands dismissively around, “Here I am, still leeching off your good will and ready to faint because Master Obi-Wan called. Who  **does**  that!?”

She needs to calm down, she needs to relax.

“Not a body guard that’s for sure! So, so what happens if I take this offer and then encroach on your personal life even further, and then-then I can’t do the one thing you hired me for? I can’t do it because I’m just some terrified-or worse I trust the wrong thing and- I just, I can’t, Padme I really can’t!”

Ahsoka’s hands shake and tremble, and go weak as she starts panting for air. She tries to put her mug down but just drops it after banging it on the lip of the table. There’s a ringing in her head, and the universe feels like it’s shrunk down to the puddle of ruined tea around her feet. There’s a set of warm arms wrapped around her shoulders and Ahsoka easily tilts over the way they direct. She clings to Padme with every bit of strength she has left.

Ahsoka was floating a half inch above her own body. She chuckled feeling like she’s bobbing in water, lost at sea and quickly drowning in the waves.

Padme whispers, chin digging into her shoulder slightly. Ahsoka knows she’s saying something soothing. That it’s okay to still be upset. She’s a person first? Ahsoka doesn’t know what that’s even supposed to **mean**. She does recognize one sentence though. “Just let it out.”

Well it’s not like she could very well hold it in anymore.

Time softly warps around them and the Force slowly stops churning. Ahsoka is exhausted, and lets herself be led from the table and the tea and the wasted breakfast. The next thing she remembers is drinking a glass of water, already half tucked into bed. The last thing she remembers is the feeling of Padme at her back, planting a small kiss on the top of her head before she drops back into sleep.

Thank the Force for small mercies like sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well that could've gone better, at least she has someone there to help take care of her.


	6. Finally Resting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ahsoka finally gets some sleep and Padme worries that she pushed things too far.

Padme stayed with Ahsoka until she was sure the teenager was asleep. She quickly sent a few messages with her com. Padme was supposed to be working from her office today, so it didn’t take much to get everything shifted instead to her apartment. Teckla began forwarding various documents to her secured pad and promised to keep an ear to the ground. Typho agreed that between the newest security measures they’d installed, and Ahsoka being there (even if she neglected to tell him Ahsoka’s current state) that Padme was protected. She wasn’t sure what to do besides try and catch up on her work, and try and be there for her friend.

Ahsoka was far worse off than Padme had realized, and she was not looking forward to the next round of apologies from the girl when she woke. Padme was  **less**  enthused by the fact that Anakin would call at some point and demand to know what was happening.

It was all such a mess.

Double checking that Ahsoka was actually asleep and not just…comatose, Padme quickly retrieved her work pad and grabbed a box of sweet thins before going back. Cookies were gentle on her stomach and, honestly, Padme could use something to distract herself with.

Padme settled into the mattress and tried to focus on her work, it’s all she can do until Ahsoka wakes up. Despite that, and despite the promise that she’ll concentrate on work and not her personal life, Padme spent the majority of the morning running over Ahsoka’s panicked explanation. She wasn’t sure what Ahsoka would say on declining the offer, and Padme had been loath to consider the refusal too seriously yesterday, but admitting that she’s scared and young was not what she expected. It was all true, just not normally anything Ahsoka would admit to.

Anakin had caught her once, it had to have been a year or two back, when Ahsoka had clearly been crying in some hidden nook on their ship. She’d insisted everything was fine and Anakin hadn’t wanted to push her when she wasn’t ready. Ahsoka had never been ready. To this day he wasn’t sure what had upset her. It’s the only experience Padme knows of regarding “helping” Ahsoka.

It’s worrisome.

_Are you really helping?_

That little voice at the back of her mind kept whispering, and Padme listened when it spoke. Yesterday everything had seemed so clear to her. Ahsoka needed help and Padme was best suited to provide that help. Today it was far less clear. Ahsoka was scared and hurting and wanted to get away from everyone. Everyone included Padme and Anakin. Her insistence that Ahsoka see her, stay the night, stay for breakfast, stay the day-it had inadvertently hurt her.

Was she lancing a wound before it could fester? Or was she being arrogant and assuming she knew best?

Padme’s stomach flipped as she glanced down at Ahsoka’s sleeping form. There really was only one way to know, but asking could wait until the poor girl had at least gotten some sleep. She managed to get some work done in fits and starts. Ahsoka’s occasional snores and whimpers didn’t let her drown in it.

By the time lunch rolled around Padme had felt comfortable enough to slip out and heat up some canned soup. It was about the only thing she could stomach between Ahsoka and Orna Free Ta’s latests proposals. With a small portion of mostly broth under a preservation lid, Padme slipped back into the guest room to find Ahsoka sitting upright although her eyes were unfocused.

“Hey,” She whispered, heart sinking a little when Ahsoka didn’t even look at her. Quickly putting the tray down on the floor, Padme made her way to Ahsoka’s side of the bed. “Ahsoka? Are you hungry?”

It was nothing but relief when she half shrugged.

“Ok, I brought some soup and cookies.” Padme waited forcing herself to be patient. She had made enough demands already, it was time to back off.

Ahsoka rubbed at her face, drowsily mumbling, “Ok.”

She tried to find a way to seem unobtrusive while Ahsoka slowly ate the soup, a relief all on its own, until she realized that Ahsoka probably wasn’t quiet lucid enough to care.

“Thank you,” Ahsoka yawned, scrubbing her hands over her face as she slumped back against the headboard. “Force ‘m too tired.”

Padme grinned down at the cookie box as she turned around, “Sleep it is then, but can I interest you in-”

Ahsoka answered with a soft whistling snore, apparently in a dead sleep.

“…more for me.” She softly laughed.

After finally getting food in Ahsoka, and knowing for certain she was actually resting well, Padme managed to concentrate on her work. Most of it was mind numbing, but she wasn’t sure that was such a bad thing after the last week.

“Whatcha workin’ on?” Ahsoka asked, scaring Padme half to death.

Carefully putting her mercifully unspilled tea down on the nightstand, Padme focused on her friend. “How much time and patience do you have? Meeting minutes for the Integrity Committee are verbose at best.”

Ahsoka snickered, the small grin enough to ease something inside Padme’s chest.

“Pass,” Ahsoka stretched out, popping her neck and yawning in a valiant attempt to wake up. “How long was I out?”

“It’s 15:20,” Padme reported after glancing at the time on her pad.

“…great, the whole day. Perfect.” Ahsoka grimaced but scooted herself further out onto the bed until she was sitting cross legged and without the back support. “Uhm, about, uh, about earlier?”

“It’s been a stressful few rotations.” Padme said, hoping that Ahsoka would just intuit what she really wanted to say.

“Ha, yeah I guess so.” Ahsoka rubbed her arms a little, opened her mouth, closed it, and apparently changed her mind. “Can I use your fresher?”

“Have at, hot water on the right, cold on the left.”

Ahsoka left, pausing only to pop her head back in the doorway. “Padme? Thank you, for everything.”

“You’re welcome.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for finally sleeping for the first time in probably a half week. Like, actual deep sleep and not a short paranoid nap. Also for eating something for the first time in a few days. We were getting worried!


	7. Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ahsoka gives herself a little more time, and realizes it's not as dire as she thought.

Ahsoka had sat under the cold water stream for several minutes before curiously sniffing at Padme’s various cleaning products. Allegedly all used in the fresher, but Ahsoka wasn’t sure how that would actually look. The standard kit only allowed for bar soap, and the rest of the time it was sonic showers which didn’t need anything. Ahsoka squinted at the two different bottles of conditioner, apparently a hair thing the Senator used. One promised to reduce split ends (which sounded painful) and the other mostly waxed poetic about the special oils it contained. Although the small blob she squeezed out of it looked white and didn’t smell oily at all.

“Weird,” Ahsoka whispered as she nervously put it back, and then rearranged them all to look as untouched as possible. It was probably uncouth to go pawing through other peoples toiletries.

She had chosen the least offensive smelling soap and had to slow herself down as she washed. It wasn’t like Rex was going to yell at her for taking more than ten minutes anymore. Ahsoka swallowed thickly as she worked more methodically.  _If you take the job you could see him again._  It was the most obnoxious of the thoughts spinning around in her head. The idea that she could still be with the people she cared about was tantalizing and dangerous. _I’m not a Jedi._  That cut to the quick.  _Anakin is attached too._ What good did that do really? What was that even supposed to prove _. You want that job_! Except she didn’t!

Didn’t she?  _You already ruined it._

Padme was really being very patient with her, especially considering she’d turned the offer down.  _She likes you._

Ahsoka shook her head to dislodge all the thoughts and focused on finishing her shower.

Stepping out, Ahsoka huffed a small laugh as she looked at the rack of towels. On the other end of a lot of sleep, some actual food that was actually settling, and a shower…things weren’t looking half as grim as they had that morning. Had it really only been that morning? It felt like ages ago. Days ago! Ahsoka practically felt like a different person than she had that morning.

She still wanted to leave, to get away, as far away as she needed to. But it felt less like she’d implode if she didn’t. Wrapped in a fluffy towel that felt as good as it had looked, Ahsoka sat down on the floor to meditate on the issue. What did she really want? What did she want to get out of “getting away”.

It didn’t even occur to her to be nervous about the propriety of her using a Jedi technique or using the Force at all, at least not until it had already wrapped around her in a gentle wave of lights. She drifted for a moment in its current, before tugging herself back to her breathing. Grounding herself in it and visualizing herself taking root with each inhale. Ahsoka smiled as she felt the colors swirling around her hips and knees before asking herself again. What did she want to get our of physically removing herself? Space. Peace of mind that they weren’t there. Who? The Order. Her men. The staring eyes of the public. Tarkin. The Chancellor. She was in turns scared and ashamed to be seen by them. Ok. Space, peace, distance. What else? What else? Confidence. In what? She wanted to be confident about herself again, to be self assured the way she had been before. How does leaving create that? She’d sink or swim.

Ahsoka took a deep breath, the tingling sensation of thousands of years of history washing over her in the stream of the Force. Hundreds of thousands of Jedi before her asking for guidance echoing in its gentle waves.

Did she have to be alone to get these things? Ahsoka frowned, stomach twisting as she had to admit not all of it.

Why was she so afraid of being near people she cared about?

“Oh,” Ahsoka whispered as her eyes fluttered open, stomach dropping as she jerked out of her meditation. For a moment she was numb, letting the answer to that sit heavily in her chest.

If she didn’t trust herself to know friend from foe, and she didn’t trust herself to be good at anything without the someone telling her she was good at it, and- **and**  if she was afraid there was something wrong in her that caused it well then…well then, of course she’d want to run. Somehow she’d done something that caused Barriss to target her. Barriss, her friend, a trusted friend. She knew that it hadn’t been faked affection. So something changed and Ahsoka became a target.

Ahsoka didn’t want to be hurt, but more importantly, she didn’t want to hurt anyone else.

A quick two chirp notification from her com link, the signal that someone had left her a message, broke her out of her thoughts. They had probably called during her meditation. She really needed to adjust it so it wouldn’t notify her constantly, it wasn’t like her inattention would get someone killed anymore. All the same Ahsoka found herself thoughtlessly leaning forward and playing it out of habit.

Master Obi-Wan popped into a hologram above Padme’s ornate sink, his back reflecting strangely in the mirror as he flickered for a moment while the image established before coming to life. “ _Hello Ahsoka. I, well, I can’t say I blame you if you’ve chosen not to answer my call._ ” He paused, as if about to lecture her on something before shaking his head, a strained smile in place as he continued. “ _I just wanted to say that I understand, I understand wanting to leave the Order. That I know how isolating it can feel and how much it can hurt_.” He crossed his arms, before swinging them back to clasp his hands behind his back. “ _I want you to know that I still care about you Ahsoka. Jedi Order, or not. You have come a long way, and I think I speak for Anakin as well when I say how proud we are of you. I know you will find what you seek. Find hope, keep your faith, and the Force **will**  be with you. Always_.”

Ahsoka stared at the spot he’d been in a moment before, pulled the towel up over her head, and let the pit in her chest loosen, unravel, and finally crumble. Her throat hurt as she fought the tears, but as they left a smile grew in their place. Growing in time with the warmth in her chest.

“Master Obi-Wan,” she sniffled, grinning at her feet, “is such a  **dork**. That’s where Anakin got it.”

And she got it from him. Clearly. It was the only explanation that made sense. She dropped her head into her hands, rubbing as if she would wash off the last of her fears. There at her center was that core of kyber she’d relied on her whole life. The part of her that could bend but didn’t break. She’d been too scattered to believe in it’s strength. Ahsoka felt focused now, stronger now.

What did she really want?

To feel safe and secure and worthwhile. To do something important. To help protect the innocent. To make a difference.

Basically, what she’d always wanted.

“Ahsoka, are you alright?” Padme called through the door.

Ahsoka laughed as she glanced up towards the door. Force it felt good to feel like herself again. It didn’t take much effort to find a spark of humor. “Yeah, I’d apologize for hogging the fresher but I’m sure you have another one somewhere. Do you have anymore soup?”

Padme chuckled before responding in an overly dramatic voice. “Ahsoka this is Coruscant, if I don’t I’m afraid we shant find a single sentient to deliver it.”

“It’s hard to find good help these days,” she called back, finally standing and dressing in her clean clothes. Looking at her reflection in the mirror Ahsoka fought past a burst of nervous energy and continued, “But we can talk about that more later.”

It had been good advice, to wait and let herself settle before making a choice. To find hope. She needed to actually think this through and not just react to it. To keep faith in herself and the Force. She was done being reactionary.

Time. She had just needed to give herself some time.


	8. Finally Coming Together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anakin broods in his quarters, misconstrues a lot of things, and over compensates from the guilt. But at least he and Obi-Wan are talking! Sort of talking! Talking around the topic they should be talking about!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So ANYWAYS, I didn't realize I hadn't posted this chapter on AO3 yet...so shout out to author_barnard for leaving a comment! I literally wouldn't have known other wise :p
> 
> Ok, onward!

Anakin paced back and forth in his quarters, debating how long he needed to wait before he could slip away from the Temple. They’d known he was missing last night but had given him space; he didn’t expect the Council to show that sort of leniency for his attachments again. **  
**

The Council had not made any note of poor behavior on his part as they planned their next move in the war effort, which Anakin supposed was as close to praise he was ever going to get regarding his handling of Ahsoka leaving. He’d proven to them that he was a proper Jedi, that he was moving on. Even if the truth was he didn’t need to move on anymore. They certainly didn’t need to know anything about Ahsoka’s whereabouts, especially in light of how he would need to explain why he was there in the first place. Now he had less than two rotations planet side to get the men back in order, shore up the structure of the 501st, and ship out. Anakin knew that they would adapt as always and besides one relatively quick debrief he’d had on coms with Yularen and Rex, he was putting them on the back burner for one more evening. Tomorrow and for the next month or more they’d have his undivided attention. Padme and Ahsoka only had tonight.

Just as he considered how poorly escaping through the window and hijacking a speeder would go for him, Obi-Wan knocked at the door. Anakin clenched his jaw and growled softly. There was no mistaking that polite double knock, no matter how much he didn’t want to talk. Sure enough Obi-Wan opened the door without his permission and stepped inside.

“Anakin, I was wondering if-”

“Obi-Wan,” Anakin warned, forcing himself to slowly relax his shoulders and calm his tone before continuing, “this really isn’t a good time.”

There was a long painful pause as Obi-Wan sighed, and then the soft squeak of his mattress as his former Master sat down. “No, I suppose not but something tells me it won’t be for a while. I was hoping to talk to you about that actually.”

That. Like Ahsoka wasn’t even a person anymore.

“And what can I possibly tell you about it?” He tried, he really tried to not sound as bitter as he felt.

“Well, for starters, do you know if Ahsoka has changed her com code?” Obi-Wan sounded sheepish, and that was enough for Anakin to finally look at him. “I left her a message and it just occurred to me that I may have left it on some stranger’s unit.”

His eyes flicked back and forth between Obi-Wan’s as he tried to puzzle through it. “Why?”

Hurt flashed across Obi-Wan’s face and Anakin glared harder for it. This wasn’t about Obi-Wan, this was about the people he had failed.

“I had hoped she was still in contact with you, you two are good friends after all.”

“No,” Anakin shook his head, “why are you trying to contact her? What more could the Council possibly have to say to her now?”

“The Council has nothing more to say. Really Anakin! Perhaps I wanted to just talk to her myself?”

The fact that Obi-Wan was apparently getting annoyed only stoked the flames higher.

“Well I don’t think she’ll want to talk to you!” Anakin sneered.

There was a long pause as Obi-Wan rubbed his face. “No. No I don’t expect she will. All the same I wanted to let her know I support her choice. I wanted her to know that…I want her to know I’m proud of what she’s accomplished.”

The words didn’t really register for a moment, and when they did Anakin could only feel a twinge of frustration at how sincere the lie sounded in his Master’s mouth. He reached gently along their bond and felt out Obi-Wan’s emotions, tangled and shrouded as they normally were…they were quite clear now. Shining with honesty and guilt and something warm.

Anakin felt foolish. “Oh.”

“Oh? Did you really think that I would-of course you did.” There was something brittle in Obi-Wan’s voice then. “Did you really think I found fault with her? Anakin, no, it was her decision. Ahsoka’s decision alone to stay or go, one that I wanted you to accept yes, but not one I expect you to feel happy about.”

“There’s nothing wrong with her choice!” Anakin snapped.

“I never said there was! Anakin, for goodness sake, please listen to me for once!”

“I am listening!”

“Are you? Or are you hurt and lashing out at a convenient target?” Obi-Wan immediately deflated. “My apologies, that was uncalled for. It’s…it has been a difficult week for all of us. I was just hoping I wouldn’t lose a friend in the process.”

It took an embarrassingly long time before Anakin realized that Obi-Wan was actually referring to Ahsoka as a friend. His brain unhelpfully only adding on, Obi-Wan has friends?

“It’s the same,” Anakin muttered at the floor. “It’s the same number. And she’s safe, has a job lined up and everything.”

Obi-Wan’s relief was like being hit with a cloud of mist. “Yes, well, she is rather industrious isn’t she?”

“She learned from the best.” Anakin weakly chuckled, trying to find some solid footing in what was quickly turning into a minefield. He’d implied all sort of things about his Master in the last few minutes and had no desire to mess it up worse.

“Yes,” Obi-Wan smiled, “I really should thank the good Captain.”

“Hey!” Anakin’s laugh was a lot more real this time.

Obi-Wan stood up, hands on his hips as he looked about awkwardly for a moment. As if he was looking for a reason to not leave just yet.

Anakin nearly slapped himself as a few things suddenly snapped into place. Obi-Wan’s grandmaster had left the Order, his master was dead, his Padawan had reservations about the Jedi, and his grandpadawan had now left the Order as well. Obi-Wan, who should have been surrounded by generations of his own lineage was quickly becoming isolated. Anakin felt like an insensitive idiot. He’d been so desperate to push that cutting little shard of himself away from Ahsoka, and away from himself, that he’d let it cut Obi-Wan instead. Anakin blinked rapidly, quickly stopping any tears from forming. He was such an **idiot**.

He couldn’t fix it, but he could offer an olive branch.

“She’s, uh, well the job is with Senator Amidala. To be her personal bodyguard for a while.” Anakin kept his gaze focused on the wall across from him, only wincing at how awkward his tone was. “She’s set up for housing and credits. She’s, she’s gonna be alright Obi-Wan.”

Obi-Wan cleared his throat. “…it sounds like a good starting point for her. Familiar. I hope she feels comfortable enough to branch out a bit afterwards. I never wanted to see her fight for so long.”

“Yeah, me either.” Anakin bobbed his head and hoped Ahsoka would forgive him for telling anyone. Especially knowing how she’d reacted this morning, how angry she must have been to hear Obi-Wan’s voice. He’d find a way to apologize. He’d find a way to balance it out. Clearing his throat, Anakin asked “Hey, want to get some dinner old man?”

Obi-Wan flashed him a small smile, “While that sounds lovely I’d hate to make you late.”

“Late?” Anakin asked, eyebrows scrunched together in confusion.

Obi-Wan looked at him fondly, and with a heavy dose of exasperation. “Yes Anakin. Late, to your meeting?”

Anakin’s heart pounded as he desperately tried to remember what war meeting he’d forgotten.

“Honestly Anakin, your meeting with the Senator?” Obi-Wan sighed, before walking towards the door.

“My meeting with,” Anakin stared at Obi-Wan in dread, “with the Senator?”

“Oh yes, very important I believe. About some bill or another, but I surely can’t keep track of it all.” Obi-Wan deadpanned before asking lightly, “Do say hello to them for me will you?”

Obi-Wan knew about him and Padme. It was like a lightning strike. Obi-Wan knew. Had known. For how long? The Council didn’t know, he was sure of that. Anakin swallowed roughly, “Master are you saying-”

“Anakin, as Jedi we cannot simply say no to a Senator. Especially not someone aligned with our cause. I would highly suggest you take care of it while you still have the chance to do so in person.” Obi-Wan tilted his head towards 500 Republica meaningfully, “I’ll see you bright and early tomorrow I’m sure.”

The door swooshed open and shut as Obi-Wan Kenobi, master of avoiding topics he disliked, slipped away.

Anakin slid down against the wall on wobbly legs. Obi-Wan knew and didn’t care. Obi-Wan…knew and didn’t care and was making his excuses.

It was strange to feel that nearly ancient, rough, and terribly large dark secret be cut so cleanly in half. To have the concerns unravel into something manageable. To have such a dark worry suddenly…not exist. He felt light headed. He felt sick to his stomach. He was shaking. Had he eaten today? Yes. Breakfast. Right. Wow, was that just this morning? This time the previous day Anakin had been shaking with fury and drowning in despair. Today he was shaking with excitement and drowning in relief.

Obi-Wan knew. Ahsoka was still here. Padme loved him.

And he had totally lied about Ahsoka having taken that job offer. Anakin laughed. It just didn’t compare in concern to Ahsoka leaving him and Obi-Wan shunning him. He wasn’t sure if he liked this feeling or not, but he was going to take advantage of it. Anakin fumbled his communicator until he reached Padme.

“Hello Ani,” Padme’s voice was a balm.

“Hey Ani!” Ahsoka mockingly called, the light tone only lifting his mood higher.

“Hey Angel, hey ‘Soka. I’m coming over for dinner if that’s alright.”

“I don’t think we have the space,” Ahsoka lamented at the exact same time Padme said, “Of course.”

“Cool. Obi-Wan says hello.”

He tensed waiting for something horrible to happen. Ahsoka had been so upset, and it had been because of Obi-Wan-but he’d promised-

“Tell him I got his message, and that I appreciate it. Even if it was really sappy.” Ahsoka said before putting on her best Obi-Wan impersonation, “Most unbecoming really.”

She was clearly feeling better, even if a bit of the cheer was put on. That was Ahsoka though, looking for hope and being optimistic. The one with enthusiasm he thought with a small snort.

“Got it, I’ll tell Obi-Wan he is unbecoming and his message was sappy. See you in thirty?” He accidentally asked instead of stated, feeling weirdly hopeful and fearful and unbearably light.

“Roger roger.” Ahsoka said.

“Give me that,” Padme grumbled good naturedly. “Really, just call her com next time! We’ll see you soon Ani.”

Anakin forced the lump in his throat down. “Ok. Love you.”

“Love you too,” Padme’s voice was all sweet and breathy, and it made his heart swell even as the line cut.

“This is so weird,” He chuckled to the ceiling. “But I…I think I could like it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anakin has no idea what to do when good things happen to him, the poor boy.
> 
> Up Next: Padme wonders how to bring up heavy topics without triggering a panic attack, Anakin is overly giddy about basically everything because his family is kind of coming together nicely now, and Ahsoka does her best to not burn dinner.


	9. Chicken Soup for the Anxious Soul

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Padme wrangles with the last of her concerns for the day, Anakin's secret talent is outed, and everyone finally gets to eat a healthy and filling meal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shout out to Gabby(Kirahsoka) for all her awesome fic updates and replying to my comments. After happily drowning in some good SW ficage I pulled myself together and finished this chapter. No beta on this so sorry if there are mistakes!
> 
> I am tired lol!

Padme casually checked her chronometer with a small smile, before looking back over at Ahsoka who was doing some sort of slowly moving mediation. She’d seen Anakin do this one enough times for it to be somewhat familiar, and seeing Ahsoka going through each motion made something warm pulse deep in her chest. That said it had been nearly thirty standard minutes and Anakin had yet to come home.

Despite the suspiciously happy sounding call from Anakin, and how much better off Ahsoka seemed, Padme knew that they still needed to cover some heavy topics. The betrayal of a friend, the fear of being hunted, being arrested, being villainized in a fake trial, her admission of fear about the Senate, and most importantly between them Padme inadvertently hurting Ahsoka by pushing her past her boundaries and limits. It all  **needs** to be addressed, it has to be spoke and come to light before it can heal. But Ahsoka is smiling as she moves, she’d cracked a few jokes and been happy.

Padme refused to allow Ahsoka to fall back down into that pit the girl has clawed her own way out of again.The idea of ever seeing her so lost caused small spikes of fear to jab at her, like needles under her nails.

That same desire to prevent harm is what has kept Padme from acting on her desires. It’s ultimately stupid, perhaps even selfish, and certainly isn’t viable long term. It’s been a rough week for all of them though. Surely they deserve a chance to breathe?

So instead Padme has sat her silently and watched the way that her face has tightened, smoothed, frowned, and now smiled. Latching onto each shift as if it held answers to the questions burning in her mind. Watching her breathing carefully as it had been so soft and shallow that she’d been worried about another break down. She took a deep, shaking breath. Padme’s anxieties could wait for the night. They can wait.

Suddenly Ahsoka goes still, her head tilting slightly and eyes fluttering open as she bit at her lip nervously. When they made eye contact, Ahsoka flashed a weak grin. “Anakin’s here.”

“Oh?” Padme had barely spoken when she can suddenly hear the repulsors on his speeder. “Ok, truthfully, was that the Force or just how good your hearing is?”

Ahsoka’s smile smoothed and grew as she puffed up, “Trade secret, I’ll never tell!”

“Tell what?” Anakin asked as he shuffled into the living room, he’s smiling although he’s also nearly hugging himself.

Gods they are all little wrecks of people just limping along tonight.

“That,” Ahsoka said before standing up, “would be telling Skyguy.”

His face transforms into mock hurt, one hand pressed over his heart, “I thought we were  _ friends _ !”

There’s a slight pause, Ahsoka’s eyes go wide and her smile becomes frozen in place before she scuffed her boot on the carpet. Her voice is soft when she replies, “We are.”

Padme glanced between the two, noting the way that they both are looking at the floor and clearly pleased if unsure. It’s enough that Padme finally stands and gives Anakin a kiss before waving towards the kitchen. “We were thinking soup, I have a can waiting with your name on it if you’d like to join us.”

Anakin is not feigning his offense this time, his face scrunched as he stared at her. “Padme no. Why? No, I can make soup!”

“Yes, but we are hungry now.” Padme took pity on him when Anakin turned a little gray. “How about you doctor it up a little? Or we can have soup and you can make something else.”

“My family does not deserve canned soup!” Anakin hissed, one hand scrubbing over his jaw in thought. Clearly trying to plan out a meal he deemed fit.

“You  **never** cooked for me before, and now it turns out you can cook? What gives?” Ahsoka grumped good naturedly from the couch where she has moved to sit, for some reason, with her back on the seat and legs dangling over the back of the couch.

Padme stared at her before she looked to Anakin and responded, “Ani loves cooking?”

It’s not her proudest moment, but it gets a laugh out of both of them so she let’s it pass along with her blush.

“Snips, if I cooked for us, then Rex would want some. If Rex got some, you know Jesse would want in, and he’d tell Kix. Kix would complain about it around Fives and then the whole 501st would know and I’d be the company cook, not the General!” Anakin spread his hands wide as he shook his head. “No thanks. Pass! Besides, you’ve got plenty of time to learn and Padme’s a lost cause.”

“I am not!” Padme protested, blushing worse and laughing. “I just need a lot of- of guidance!”

“Mmmm,” Anakin said seriously, “Yes Queens don’t cook m’lady!”

The nerve!

Ahsoka snickered, feet kicking in the air before awkwardly offering, “Can I help?”

Padme doesn’t regret not warning Ahsoka about the demon she has unwittingly released. After all, she is probably used to Anakin bossing her around and she should get some basic lessons while she can. Gods know when Anakin leaves next and once he’s gone it’s all droid made or take out. Instead, she steps aside as Anakin motions Ahsoka into the kitchen. Within a few minutes Padme can hear the sound of the vegetable peeler working and Ahsoka cursing when Anakin tossed something into a pan. Padme snickered softly at the amount of sass she could hear just from the tone of their voices.

By the time that Anakin comes back out Padme has sat back down to try and collect herself.

He smiled at her even as he shouted over his shoulder,“And don’t burn the apartment down!”

“Eat a-” Ahsoka snarled something in a language Padme doesn’t understand before continuing, “- if it burns, it’s your fault! You’re not even allowed to boss me around anymore!”

“Do I want to know?” Padme asked.

Anakin flushed, stuttering, “No?”

She rolled her eyes before patting the seat next to her, grateful when Anakin sat with her. Their hands quickly twine together

Where Padme can feel the joy welling like a bubble inside, the worry keeps it at bay. Swirling and making her stomach turn. Anakin, apparently, does not feel the same.

His boyish face seems softer and more open then she’s seen in years, a delighted grin in place as he looked towards the kitchen. “What happened?”

“I was going to ask you the same thing.” Padme whispered, more aware of Ahsoka’s possible hearing range than she ever knew could be possible, and put one hand on his chest as she curled into him. “She...Ani she had a really bad breakdown. I think it was some sort of panic attack. I had to guide her to the bedroom, sit her down, take off her boots...she wasn’t herself at all. I got her to eat a bit, but she mostly slept. When she woke up she seemed better but still...I was so worried. I didn’t know what to do. Then she took almost an hour in the fresher but when I checked on her she was just” Padme waved a hand. “Better? I’m worried it’s a show. Or that it will come crashing down again.”

Anakin stared at her, brows crinkled in that way she knows means he doesn’t quite understand. Padme isn’t aware of making a face, but apparently she does as Anakin floundered to explain himself.

“Sorry, I just, look. Maybe, but it’s all one day at a time ok? And, Obi-Wan and I talked. He...he implied that he knows. About us. He didn’t say it. Just told me I’d be late for my meeting with ‘the Senator’ and reminded me to take care of it in person while rambling about how there was no way he could keep track of what political scheme was happening. I think he knows. He didn’t tell the Council or else I’d already be thrown out.”

Oh. Well. That would explain Anakin’s change of mood. That’s been a noose around his neck that Anakin had haltingly tightened every year. Padme cleared her throat and smiled, doing her best to match the energy around her. “Well, he is rather fond of you.”

“You think so?” Anakin asked, eyes wide and watery.

She leaned forward, smile soft and moved her hand to cup his face. “I know so. He loves you, the way you love Ahsoka. It’s obvious to me.”

Anakin bit his lip before her leaned forward, “Have I told you I love you?”

“Not recently enough I think.” Padme scooted a hair closer, tilted her chin  _ just so _ .

“Oh?” Anakin chuckled, eyes half hooded as he relaxed into the familiarity of their routine. “My apologies. How can I make it up to you?”

Padme smirks up at him, “Well I can think of-”

Ahsoka somewhat frantically called for help, “I think this is burning!? Anakin!!??”

Padme slapped a hand over her mouth to stop her gut wrenching laughter as every last iota of suaveness fell from her husbands face and transformed into near panic.

“Take it off the heat!” He yelped, launching himself back into the kitchen.

“How do I turn it off?”

“You don’t need to-just put it on the counter!”

Padme managed to avoid snorting and finally leaned back into the couch. 

Alright. They were doing better and that should be appreciated. Celebrated. They would enjoy the night and later they could talk about everything they needed to. If nothing else a discussion of living arrangements were needed, and as Padme listened she hoped Ahsoka would choose to stay here. It might be tricky when Anakin is planet side, both of them will want to see him but Padme knows she’ll want a bit more than that. Her mind keeps replaying the moment Ahsoka’s head tilted as she heard Anakin’s speeder, but replaces it with- no. Good heavens that will never do.

“Tomorrow,” she whispered to herself, “We can worry about that tomorrow.”

“Saved it!” Anakin called, two bowls of soup in his hands and one amused Ahsoka trailing after him with her own bowl and a loaf of bread.

Padme stood and moved to give him a quick kiss before dramatically proclaiming “My hero!”

She then left her blushing husband to give Ahsoka a small kiss on the cheek as well. “My two valiant heroes.”

It was worth it to watch their identical red faces as they opened and closed their mouths almost in time. Padme didn’t feel bad for laughing at them at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahsoka can't cook, but she sure as heck can learn! Everyone also finally taking a break from the high emotions of the day? It's more likely than you think!
> 
> Up Next: Ahsoka spends the night again, and everyone says goodbye the next morning. After it's all said and done she comes to a realization.


	10. The Force Is With Us

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A quiet evening, and a quiet farewell for now. And then, at long last, some rest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things went pear shaped (as usual) and the end chapter note from last time is not as accurate as it could have been. Still, we're getting there now. 
> 
> So here's a short but sweet one for y'all!

Dinner is different, so much different than any meal Ahsoka’s ever had with anyone. It’s relaxed, it’s casual, and it gives her the best seat in the universe to discover what a massive dork Anakin is. More shockingly, what a complete loser Padme is too.

It’s nice.

That’s the thought that swirls around her head the whole evening. It’s nice to have their company. It’s nice to be warm and comfortable. It’s nice to eat decent food. It’s nice to feel wanted.

It’s nice.

_ “Find hope, keep your faith, and the Force  _ **_will_ ** _ be with you. Always.” _ Obi-Wan’s words stay with her like a well worn cloak throughout the evening.

She doesn’t have to do this alone and it means so much more to her than Ahsoka ever knew it could. She’s walking wounded, but she’s not dead yet. So she listens to them, makes jokes, and soaks up every last second of warmth before the night ends. Because it will end, this will pass. Just like the trial. Like the chase. It will pass and be replaced, like one dream for another. Her eyes sting and chest aches on occasion, but no tears fall this time. The pain banished by silly faces and gentle voices before it can fully blossom. The pain will pass too.

When Anakin finally looks at the chrono, face twisting with desperation and resignation, Ahsoka knows that the evening, which has been so nice, is now done. He’s leaving, she guesses tomorrow. 

Anakin’s eyes cut to her but he’s still  _ hopefulfrightenedworriedcaring _ hesitant until he smiles. “I’ve got to leave tomorrow 0300, but I’ll be here tonight. You’re staying overnight right?”

Her lekku twitch in embarrassment, but she grins back. “Yeah, I was planning on it. But Skyguy? When you leave? ...don’t wake me up, I’ve heard about this thing called sleeping in and want to try it.”

His eyes glaze over with unshed tears, his smile is proud and sad as one hand grips dramatically at his chest. “I’ve been replaced by a decent night’s sleep!”

“Have you met a decent night’s sleep?” Padme asks completely casually from her position draped over Anakin’s legs, “You’d love them too, if only you met them.”

“Sounds fake, but ok.” Anakin shrugs and then easily stands pulling Padme up with him.

Ahsoka does not laugh at the way she squeaks, and certainly doesn’t shrink when Padme glares at her. To prove it she sneers, “G’night lovebirds!” And delights in watching Padme smack Anakin’s head when he flips her off. She walks to her room slowly, and pulls out her com.

Hours later she can hear Padme softly snoring in between the replays of Master Obi-Wan’s message.

_ “I want you to know that I still care about you Ahsoka.” _ Ahsoka grins drowsily at the way Obi-Wan fidgets as he says that. It means he meant it. “ _ -how proud we are of you. I know you will find what you seek.” _

She hopes so. She really does. “ _ The Force  _ **_will_ ** _ be with you. Always.” _

The message ends and Ahsoka stars at the blank space above her bed for a moment, lets her mind wander until she notices the pad with the job offer on it again. She wants it. She wants to take it the same way she wanted her Padawan beads. Genuinely, with her whole being. Without asking too many questions. And that bothers her. She wants this job, but the longer she forces herself to really look at it, to ask those questions of herself, the more sure she becomes that this isn’t right for her.

But turning it down, doesn’t mean she can’t ask for help. She reaches to press the replay button and pauses, head tilting as she listens.

She can hear Anakin moving when he wakes up, and despite what she’d said last night Ahsoka slips out of her room to wait in the living room for him. Anakin’s presence in the Force goes tight with fear for one moment before he darts out of the hallway and sees she’s still there. She’s a bit abashed to not have considered he’d look into her room. Ahsoka smiles at him, her own exhaustion pulling it askew. 

“I thought you would still be asleep.” He whispers before looking her over and frowning. “But I suppose that would require you to have  _ fallen _ asleep first.”

Ahsoka shrugs, arms wrapping around her elbows. She mumbles more to the floor than anywhere else, “Just wanted to wish you happy hunting.”

The silence is heavy before Anakin steps forward and wraps her in a hug. He whispers roughly, “I’ve got Rex out there alright, watch your six Ahsoka.”

She laughs into his chest, “I’ve got Padme out here, tell Rex he has competition.”

“This means war,” Anakin intones gravely, but his quivering shoulders give him away.

“Put it on the list, I’m sure we can order it.” It’s a stupid joke. Someone declaring war dramatically and someone else pretending war is something to place an order to requisitions about. It’s not actually funny, and Ahsoka doesn’t really remember who started it, but it’s soothing as any other pre-battle ritual. “Hey, make sure the boys have my com code. It’s not changing, and I’m gonna have more time than ever to field calls.”

Anakin finally breaks the hug to squeeze her shoulders. “Ah to be young and not yet regretful!”

“You’re twenty two!” She hisses back.

Anakin sticks his tongue out at her, somehow looking more boyish than ever in the pale evening lights. “Scary isn’t it?”

“Stars, I came out here to be nice? And this is what I get?”

“Ah,” He snickers, rocking her back and forth on her feet a little, “to be young and regretful! ...Hey...thank you.”

She pulls back and the two bow to one another before Anakin makes his way to the apartment’s landing pad.

“The Force will be with you,” Ahsoka says, and memorizes the way he smiles at her from his speeder, as if he was the one with super hearing. He gives her a lazy two finger salute before he pulls away.

She watches until her eyelids droop closed more often than they’re open and then returns to her bed to sleep. Tomorrow she needs to talk with Padme. Ahsoka has barely hit the mattress before she plummets into a deep sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We'll see you next Anakin, don't forget to noogie your kid/kid sister when you get back.
> 
> Up Next: Ahsoka gives her final decision and Padme tries to convince Ahsoka to join the family business via volunteer work.


	11. The Fluff Express Has Now Arrived: All Aboard!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ahsoka makes her choice and then we immediately time jump because we all know we came here for the fluff post whump.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy valentines day, spend it with those who care about you and keep your loved ones in your thoughts. Romantic, platonic, familial, and any other way you'd like!

“In part it’s because I’m uncomfortable knowing I’m not at my best, and if I’m protecting you I do want to be my best. But there’s just something about this that doesn’t sit right. I suppose? I’m sorry I’m not sure how to explain this.” Ahsoka says and shakes her head slightly.

It’s the not the news Padme had wanted to hear, not by a long shot. But it’s also not the worst news she could have gotten.

Ahsoka, true to her word, slept in until nearly noon. Padme had worked a half day at the office before returning home to find her poking around the kitchen for something to have with her haphazardly stacked sandwich. She had seemed a little slower than the night before, but also a bit more genuine. It had been good to see. Necessary even.

“That’s alright,” Padme smiled, “If it’s not right for you, then it’s not right. I appreciate you giving it some more consideration.”

There’s a slightly uncomfortable pause as Ahsoka shifts in her seat before looking up again. “I, uh, did have a question? I guess, more of a request? Is it alright if I stay here for a bit? I want to get my own place eventually, but until I can get that sorted out…”

Her heart thumps almost painfully as her chest fills with warmth. It’s love and it’s pride, and Padme lets it shine through as brightly as she can. Ahsoka blushes and rolls her eyes so Padme is confident that her message made it through. “Of course, take as much time as you need. You’ll always have a place here.”

Ahsoka grins down at her boots, scuffing the toes together as she mumbles a very pleased, “Thanks. This really helps, and I don’t really know what to do from here anyways.”

“Volunteer.” The word is out of her mouth before Padme even has to think of it.  Ahsoka chuckles a little, and Padme doubles down. “Seriously! Volunteer to work soup kitchens, hand out groceries, fix up peoples homes, spend time at hospitals with the sick and dying, heck, go to the animal shelters! Volunteer because you like helping people in tangible ways...and because you might find your calling in it.”

Ahsoka stares back at her bewildered by the sudden speech, clearly trying to keep up and process everything that’s been thrown at her. “Are...are you-wait. You just want to mold me into Senator material! I see through your machinations!”

Ahsoka’s tone was light and playful. Padme makes sure to keep her own dead serious when she responds. “You’d be good at it. You care about the people of the galaxy, and you don’t mind working hard to make that happen.”

Ahsoka stutters, one hand flapping in the air as she tries to scrape up a response, “Oh, well, uh, thank you.”

Padme knows that asking her to consider that thought right now is not productive. It’s not helpful and probably is terrifying to the girl who fears just stepping inside the Senate itself. It doesn’t make it any less true.

“You have an aptitude for it,” Padme finally smiles, nudging Ahsoka lightly with her elbow, “But I promise I won’t force you into the family business.”

“Anakin would protest a second politician hanging around him and Obi-Wan would never speak to me again. So I appreciate that.” Ahsoka smiles, the elbow clearly meant to gently nudge her back is sure to leave a small bruise but Padme doesn’t complain.

“Boys are stupid.” Padme declares grandly, purposefully using a bit of her royal voice to add weight to it. “They lack the fortitude to persevere.”

She succeeds in making Ahsoka burst into laughter, and that makes it completely worth it. The first real loud laughter she’s heard in weeks. 

“Is this normal? Does this mean I get to listen to you absolutely demolish people, because I think I’m ok with getting to hear you tear people to shreds.”

Padme snorts, one hand covering her face to try and control her mirth. “I do not, and if you tell anyone they will never believe you!”

“Rude,” Ahsoka snickers and finally relaxes fully into her plush armchair. “Ok, seriously though. Volunteering. How do you volunteer? Do I just, show up randomly or- you have pamphlets don’t you?”

Ahsoka’s com pings as Padme deftly sends the data packet over. “I’m always prepared, it’s part of the job.”

  
  
  


**Epilogue**

 

Anakin landed the speeder without even the slightest bump and smirked at Obi-Wan. 

“All you’ve done, my young friend, is prove that you have deliberately provoked me in the past with poor flying.” Obi-Wan grumbled as he undid his safety restraints. “And that I will mock you relentlessly if you crash us again.”

Anakin tutted, tilting his head back slightly to look down his nose, “That’s not very Jedi like of you Master.”

Obi-Wan glared through the veil of his shoulder length hair, the look having returned without fear of it getting in the way. “Do you want me to act Jedi like?”

“Mmmm, pass.” Anakin laughed as he hauled himself out of the driver’s seat. His back popped with the motion and Anakin grunted as the pressure released. “I think the twins would kill me if I didn’t bring their Uncle Ben, especially if I brought Master Kenobi.”

“Yes, won’t someone think of the children!” Padme sighed from the doorway, one hand over her chest as she waited for Anakin.

And who was he to say no? Anakin quickly gave her a kiss before warning her, “You’ve been spending too much time with Ahsoka.”

“There’s no such thing,” Obi-Wan stated easily, “Now can you two please move aside? I haven’t seen any of the younglings the longest and I’m overdue at this point. It’s unbecoming really.”

Anakin shared a quick look with Padme before the two swayed to one side. He waited until Obi-Wan had disappeared around the corner and heard the twin’s delighted squealing before leaning in to kiss Padme again. Three weeks. Three whole weeks away was far too long to go without this. Her hand lifted to curl gently around his jaw before she pulled back with a frown.

“What?”

“You didn’t shave,” Padme accused. “And your stubble is pokey.”

Anakin snorted as he lovingly mocked her, “Pokey.”

It earned him a swat to the head. Although Padme was still smiling at him with twinkling eyes. “Shush, you live with a few hyperactive children for a while and see how your vocabulary changes!”

“Sounds poopy.” He said as seriously as he could. “BUT I also know they don’t talk  **that** much so I call bantha fodder.”

Padme glared. “I will not be spoken to this way Master Jedi. And I will not kiss someone with a potty mouth.”

Anakin squeezed her one more time before letting go. “My sincerest apologies my lady, your excellency I beg your forgiveness for my horrendous crimes. Truly a mistake and a misstep I kriffing assure you.”

That earned a much harder swat to the back of his head, delivered while he was still mid bow. The audacity!

Ahsoka laughed at his misfortune from the safe distance of not with in his arms reach. He gave her a light shove in the Force, smirking as she stumbled into the living room couch.

“Hey!” She squawked.

“Most unfortunate, the breeze can play such tricks.” Anakin had already committed to the bit, might as well see it through.

She didn’t get a chance to respond before two small rockets launched directly into his legs. Two bright smiles flashed up at him from two round faces, with oddly patchy hair. Anakin knelt down to hug them both before hauling them up in his arms. He simply lifted an eyebrow at Padme who sighed heavily.

“They found your autorazor and wanted to look like their big sister.”

Ahsoka smirked, “I did the mature thing and stopped them when I found them. But! Check it out!” She moved forward to hug him and the twins. “We’re triplets.”

“I can see that,” Anakin said, giving her a dry look, “And I’m sure you’ll never use this as leverage ever.”

Ahsoka was now at practically the same eye level as him, but the face she made was the same piss poor attempt at innocence she had used since she only came up to his chest. “I would never! Unless the situation called for it!”

Leia leveled a small glare at her before giggling and burying her face back into his neck. Luke was too busy chewing on her tabard to have any input. While the two truly didn’t speak much, they understood a scary amount of basic. He was tentatively hopeful with Ahsoka visiting she’d forget first and say something improper around the twins before he did.

“She’s such a quick learner,” Padme stage whispered, smiling at Ahsoka’s dry glare. “I think we’ll graduate her to intimidating Burtoni soon. Goodness knows the woman’s been left unchecked for far too long.”

“I take it things are going well enough then?” Obi-Wan asked as he finally strolled back in, no doubt from remaking a bed, putting away a toy, or closing the dresser drawers the twins used as climbing steps.

Anakin tried not to burst into laughter when he finally saw his old Master. Despite having only been in the other room for all of five minutes, Obi-Wan now sported a very sloppy bun that was only nominally being held in place by a pink plastic butterfly comb. It hurt a little to keep it repressed but it would be worth it when Anakin had his own fancy hairstyle from Leia later that evening. He could laugh now and get roasted later, or keep his peace and brag about wearing it better later.

Ahsoka smirked, casually flipping her cloak over one shoulder which put her well defined arm on display. “You could say that.”

Ahsoka had done well on her own finding purpose and success to help end the war and reveal the Sith. She’d only recently approach Padme regarding, apparently, a standing offer. Anakin could only imagine the looks of shock and horror on some of the Senate's faces when Ahsoka strolled in the first day of her internship. The way everyone had probably been forced to smile and nod as Padme introduced everyone to her six foot tall warrior child, and the way Ahsoka would definitely have shown off her fangs as she asked if anyone needed a tea or kaf refill. Her job was something more of a hybrid security, surveillance, with a smidge of actual internship than anything else. But who was really going to argue with Chancellor Amidala or her suspiciously well armed intern who was Temple trained, especially in the wake of Palpatine’s fall? Anakin had smirked with Ahsoka over dinner that night as he pointed out to Padme it would be literally no one.

“Well now I must know!” Obi-Wan grinned as he sat down on the couch, only to flinch and pull out the toy ship he’d sat on before looking at the twins with disappointment. “Now I know you know to put these away.”

It zipped out of his hands to Luke who turned to show Anakin what he’d found.

“That’s real pretty Luke! Is it for me?” He asked, pouting when Luke pulled it back to his chest with a grin and shake of his head. “But Luke it’s so pretty! Can we at least share it?”

Luke looked and Leia, and the two clearly did something in the Force before she turned back and looked him dead in the eyes. “Daddy crashes ships, and we have to take care toys.”

There was a short beat of silence before Leia was scooped up by an overly enthusiastic Ahsoka. “You are absolutely right!”

“We...we can share, but don’t tell Leia.” Luke whispered into Anakin’s ear, a small amount of spit going with the words. “Then you’ll show me how to fix it.”

“And look at that,” Obi-Wan said with far too pleased of a smile aimed at Ahsoka, “looks like they’ve joined the family business of harassing Anakin.”

“It’s a long and distinguished line Master, of course they joined.” She responded while booping Leia on the nose.

Anakin glared at them both. “Excuse you? The family business is blowing stuff up! We all know that!”

Padme shrugged, wiggling one hand in a so-so motion, “That’s a distinct side benefit.”

“Bene-hey! It’s not my fault things blow up around me!”

He did not appreciate the knowing look Padme, Ahsoka, and Obi-Wan all shared. Nor the way his own children laughed at him. He still smiled a little, “Ok, maybe they do, but it’s not  **always** my fault.”

He put on a big show of being upset while everyone laughed at him, delighted beyond words just to have them all in one room. Happy and safe.

If it also came with the side benefit of Luke giving him a kiss to cheer him up, well, Anakin wasn’t complaining.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Folks, you don't know how long I've been sitting on that fluffy ending. I waited because I felt like the last chapter needed to be more balanced between the current time and the time skip. 
> 
> So apologies if it came across oddly choppy, I just couldn't seem to make it work any other way.


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